can't get no sleep

hi there
I'm not liking it here. Maybe i need to go back so i can be reminded how French people are mean and won;t let you live there if you can't speak french.
I work so I can live on my own. That is all the 'jobs' are affording me right now.
I feel myself getting a little depressed.

This place is just not feeling like my scene.

I hope this feeling turns around.
If not I'm not sure where else I would like to go.
There's not too many places I can go with all this debt from school.

I'm uncertain.

home again, home again

yeah it's confirmed.
I'm home Dec 24th until Jan 2nd.
I can't believe it!!! Tess and I are gonna relax big time!
I get in at like 9pm and I want my mom and i to go to this shitty ol' truck stop right outside of the city for an 'all day breakfast'. LOL
I have so many people I wanna see and sooo many things I wanna do. I know Halifax isn't the place for me right now,but I sure do miss it sometimes.

It'll be good to get away from all these jobs as well. I have one day off a week and its killing me. I have to be out of the room I'm subletting now on Jan 1st, so I really need to find a place before I go home. *fingers crossed*

all in all that's about it really.Don't have time for too too much, but doing a Burlesque show coming up in Dec which I'm super excted about. I miss performing a lot when I'm not doing it.

I really really want to see Bill Mahr at Massey Hall here in a few weeks. I wish I had someone who'd want to go. ugh. I don't mind doing things alone but sometimes it sucks.

ugh

I, Stephanie MacDonald, do NOT, I repeat, NOT know how to talk to boys.
there's this one in particular..

it's driving me nuts.

why can't things be easy?

i mean i msg'd him on fb and he didn't say anything back. sooo? I guess that not interested. Who am I kidding.


fuck.

ground control to major tom.

I'm done with couch surfing for now.
I'm in an old victorian house from the late 1800's. It's sooooo amazing.
Subletting a room until around Christmas time.
I hope to post pics soon. If I ever have a free moment.
At the moment I have three 'jobs' goin on.
1. Full time with Lancome as a makeup artist (1st day was today and man oh man do I ever hope to get an offer from someone else. This place is totally NOT my scene)
2. Working at Stylexchange for some extra money.
3. Working on putting up a sketch show.

I have one day off a week. That's it.
It's gonna get old but that's what has to happen I guess.

Being poor sucks shit,damn school.

Ah well. At least I have a bed now.

well..
it's not mine, but you get the picture.

...

i feel so lost right now.
I hope this was the right thing to do.
All I want is a room with a door on it.
and a good job.


I'm stressed.
I'm so so stressed right now.
I don't even know if I'm going to have any money to go home at Christmas.

what have I done?


fuck.

Favorite Quotes

"FIRE!.....RAPE!.......SHARK!.......THE SHARK THAT'S ON FIRE IS RAPING ME!!!!!!" -Brian Jones trying to make his way through a crowd

"It's like I called you up, asked you if you wanted to go to the dump, you said yes, then I picked you up, we drove to the dump, and sat there and watched the garbage." – Stew, on the movie "23"

"No no. I bought her perfume BEFORE she lost her kids."-Meg, on Brittney Spears

"Seaworld isn't magical at all- it's all lineups and fat people"-Jess, on Seaworld

"does it even count if they're ugly?"-Priya, on sex

"I wouldn't wipe my ass with this building"-Brian Jones, on a mall

"I feel like my zipper's down and it's on my forehead!!!" -Brian Jones, on people staring at him

"I thought that was the only way her hair grew!"-Meg on this chicks mushroom cut

"Today's theme on the streets! Extremely FAT people!Like 16 chins and can't wash your own ass FAT! Like you could play Marge the trash heap from Fragel Rock FAT! Ya that kinda fat! GOT IT?!"-Brian Jones

"Stoneridge? Have you ever been in there? Not good! They won't leave you the hell alone, they're all like, 'oh how's the size? oh they don't fit, well maybe you should try putting an insole in them, getting a few bunions, acquiring some warts, maybe grow out your toenails, get some calluses, wear an extra sock...they should be good after THAT'.."-Brian Jones on pushy sales people.

touchdown.

I'm here.
it's super scary not having a place of your own or a job yet. ugh.
I'm getting really nervous.
I don't want to be an inconvenience and I also really want my own place.
I'm a whole ball of worry right now.
But then again, that's what I do best.

I don't know what I want anymore.
Or do I? And that's why this feeling is here. Because what I want can't happen overnight.
It feels like my mind is up there. Ahead of me. All the time.

I worry about worry about worry.


Stef vs. T.O volume 1